Postponing "Hi"

                                        In theory, approaching a friend on the sidewalk should be a good experience. In reality, though, few sightings elicit such unbearable awkwardness. The further away you are when you recognize each other, the tougher the dilemma: Do you smile like idiots for a mile and a half, wearing out your lips as well as your ability to maintain genuine excitement long enough to still be civil when you finally cross paths; or do you stare blankly past one another for a mile and a half, thereby running the risk of coming off as cold, indifferent, or unobservant?

Answer: the moment you can make out the features of your pal, avert either uncomfortable scenario by suddenly receiving an imaginary text message. This will give you permission to put off the inevitable moment of eye contact and the mandatory grinning to follow. Depending on the distance to be crossed, alter the time it takes to fumble your phone out of your pocket, read the message, make a face. If you need more precious seconds, you can even begin to type up a detailed reply... and once you perceive via your peripheral vision that your favorite person in the world* is now a good smile-length few paces away from your position, look up, act surprised, squeal, "Hey, what's up?" And then keep walking.

*Note: If the approachee should happen to be something less than your favorite person in the world, just keep texting. Even if you don't have a phone with you that day, keep texting.