Lonely Music

No one understands lonely music. They can't classify it. "Scary music," they say lamely. "Sad music. Dark, depressing, ugly music. Bummer music."

To which I retort: lonely music. It's a thing, an actual thing. And I love it. Freeing music, I argue. Moving music. Emptying, purging, cathartic music. Healing music.

What they don't realize is that in the end, the pursuit of pain killer is more painful than pain. Feel what exists to be felt. Reality hurts, yes, but at least it's real. Don't silence your broken heart, and please don't break the silence. When the song comes, you will hear it.

The World's Biggest Problem: Other People

                                  I think the United Nations could get together and shake hands on this one: the biggest problem facing the world today is Other People.  We all know it, and I think it’s time we all admitted it. Until we do, there will be no insurrections, there will be no preemptive strikes, there will be no crusades or sieges or holocausts or even pillow fights, for gosh sakes. There will be nothing but peace and prosperity and dirty looks. So I say we’d better get to it right now, this admitting business; and as soon as we’re through admitting… well, we’ll be getting somewheres.

Below are listed in a particular order some of the major complaints we all have about Other People.

 

1.

First off, I think we can all agree that Other People are, if nothing else, desperately weird. Come on, don’t pretend you haven’t noticed. Completely random things turn them on. They bounce their heads to all the wrong songs on the radio, the boring ones without a good beat or good singers, and they think all the wrong jokes are funny, and watch all the wrong shows. A lot of easy things are too hard for them, but they can do the impossible stuff like it’s no big deal. Most of the time they don’t even notice when something horrible happens; but then again, other times they yell and scream when nothing bad is going on at all, when everything was going pretty good, actually. It’s creepy. You wonder if they’re kidding. You decide not to ask.

 

2.

Weirder still: despite their seemingly inexhaustible supply of baffling behaviors, Other People… are boring! And I mean boring. Distressingly boring. Even the interesting ones. Especially the interesting ones. The ones with all the interesting stories about interesting things. BORING. You try to listen but the whole time you’re thinking, “That didn’t happen,” and “Get on with it,” and “Where’s a cigarette.” Needless to say, though, folks with uninteresting stories about uninteresting things are no better. And some people are so boring that the mere sight of them is enough to keep you bored for days. They walk into the room and already you’ve had enough, you’re done. It’s all you can do to stay awake.

3.

Of course, neither the weirdness nor the mind-numbing dullness would actually be a problem… if only they could keep it to themselves. Unfortunately, however, Other People suffer from a third, particularly abhorrent infirmity: they are chronically inconvenient. This inconvenience reputedly takes on variant forms depending on your temperament. For example, if you are an extravert, Other People react by developing the introverted strain of inconvenience, which is characterized by deadpan passivity and an overall infuriating unresponsiveness. On the other hand, if you are an introvert, they develop the extraverted strain – i.e., they become invasive, interfering, obnoxious motormouths. Either way, Other People seem to be genetically predisposed to inconvenience you at every opportunity. Exasperating, isn’t it?
 

4.

We can summarize our complaints about Other People in one final, overarching statement: Other People just don’t get it. Get what, you ask? Well… it. The Point. The point of life, the world, the universe? Maybe. At the very least, the point of today, the hour, this minute, right now. And that point is… well ah… blush, squirm… you. Not to seem rude. But hey, you have a life to live, right? You have work to do, important work, and when it’s done you need to be free to do what you want, right? Like listening to the good songs, and laughing at the good jokes, and watching the good shows. I mean, seriously, you’re about the only one with taste around here. There’s something you got that Other People just don’t got. And until they can get past their own messed-up, boring selves in order to at least acknowledge your major awesomeness, well… screw them.

 

So! Now that we’re through admitting, how do we feel? Relieved? Refreshed? Empowered? What shall we do next? Shall we annihilate their loathsome race? Shall we roar over their city and drop a nuclear bomb or, say, a pillow?

Wait a minute. Who is this “we”? Whom am I addressing here? What… no. It isn’t… it is! Gah! Other People!!!!! Away from me, you invasive, interfering, obnoxious motormouths! I’m off to launch a preemptive strike against the United Nations!